You guys are dead in the water

If my blog were equipped with Smell-o-vision, I would bottle up the funky air in my office and share it with all my readers. I’m really surprised y’all can’t already smell it from where you’re sitting.

Here’s how slowly things get done at my workplace.

1) I notice a bubble on my wall, so I touch it. I discover it is filled with water and that the eighteen layers of latex paint on the wall are the only things that stand between me and a gusher.

2) I place a work order to have a plumber locate the water leak.

3) I wait a couple of days. The bubble enlarges.

4) I decline the plumber’s offer to let him “open it up and drain it”. I request that he locate the cause of the bubble. He accuses me of thinking the bubble will ooze pus if he lances it. He notes that “this carpet is saturated” and I explain that I don’t go around feeling the carpet with my hands. I just walk on it.

5) The next day, the plumber returns with a helper and a colonoscopy camera tube. They remove some ceiling tiles and locate the leak. Since the water is dripping from a pipe in the ceiling, well… that’s more work than they’re prepared to do.

6) Plumbing contractors are called in. They show up six days later at four in the morning to shut off the water to the entire building. They fix the leak, though. And manage to tear up some tiles on the other side of the wall.

7) ???

8 ) The boss wanders over and asks why I’ve moved my chair, desk, files and computer to a storage closet. I get up, walk over to my office and fling open the door. The smell of mold bowls her over. She announces that she will place a work order to have the carpet removed and linoleum put in.

9) I don’t hold my breath.


One response to “You guys are dead in the water

  1. You have your own office!

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