One on’t cross beams gone owt askew on treadle

Tasty tacosLast Thursday, there was an event at work and everyone was expected to take part. To encourage attendance, the event was going to be catered.

You may be thinking to yourself, “But, Scooterdeb… how is that different from any other day of the week when a caterer can be found delivering breakfast and lunch to your workplace?”

And I would say to you, “This time the food is for the rest of us.”

The caterer arrived early and set up the five foot long charcoal barbecue grill we keep on hand for this annual outdoor event. He brought along two helpers – one to grill the chicken, steak and hot links, and the other to crank out the freshly made tortillas.

I don’t know what a hot link is, other than something that’s forbidden at most photography sites, so I opted for two steak tacos with guacamole and no cheese.

If I were running the event, I’d go ahead and have the speeches start while half the people had gotten their food and the other half was still in line. Captive audience, and all that. Alas, I’m not in charge of that kind of thing. This is probably just as well.

Our manager saw that people had finished eating and had begun to leave, so she panicked and rushed to the front of the carport to tell everyone to stay. Some people stopped leaving and some rejoined the others in line for the third time.

After telling everyone to pipe down, our manager loudly announced, “Today we are gathered here to celebrate three things. The first thing is our annual safety awards. The second thing is our annual holiday party.”

The crowd was restless and murmuring, so our speaker attempted to reengage the audience by requesting their participation.

“Does anyone know what the third thing is?”

I said loudly, “Bob’s birthday?”

Everyone shouted, “Happy birthday, Bob!”, people were clapping him on the shoulder, Bob was thanking everyone and then the crowd burst in to a rousing rendition of the birthday song.

Our manager resumed, “OK, we are gathered here today to celebrate four things…”

All I could think of was, Nobody expects the Spanish Inquisition!”

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2 responses to “One on’t cross beams gone owt askew on treadle

  1. For those left wondering, I suppose that the fourth thing was the 50th anniversary of the independence of Benin. Although only that tiny minority of people whose company’s did not celebrate this event would not know this.

  2. Of course, the most important feature of an office birthday party is surprise. Surprise and lots of cake. The two most important features. Surprise, lots of cake, and an amazing capacity for booze.

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