Monthly Archives: January 2010

So the premise of this movie is that everyone is nuttier than all-get-out

One hour in to Angels & Demons:

Mupple: Why would a religious scholar need help translating Latin?
Me: {shrugs}
Mupple: Wouldn’t he already know a lot of Latin?
Me: {shrugs}

Two hours in to Angels & Demons:

Mupple: Wait a minute. Is that…. is that Ewan McGregor??
Me: Yah.
Me: Why else did you think I would continue to sit here and watch this movie?

Two and a half hours in to Angels & Demons:

Mupple: Is this movie saying that only a boy from Northern Ireland would be enough of a hardcore Catholic to do anything he could to save the Church?
Me: What I want to know is how a nine-year-old boy from Ulster is raised in Rome and twenty-five years later manages to have a Dublin accent.


Day 12: The expedition turns whiny…

My neighbor moved out and took my internet access with him.

While waiting for another neighbor to move in, I’ve rediscovered things like reading books offline, cooking food that isn’t on a stove in Cafe World, and stabbing thugs who aren’t in Mafia Wars. Real life is so visceral!

I’m sad about all my virtual characters languishing in all my unplayed Facebook games, but I’ve been able to spend a lot of time spying on my other neighbors and amusing myself by leaving flaming bags of dog poop on their doorsteps.

Linky Love

My new favorite laughter-inducing website:

Unhappy Hipsters

I just realized that this is a totally boring party. Let’s bring out the peyote.

I just realized that January 24th was the 7th anniversary of the day I wrote my first blog post.

If I hadn’t taken a year off, I might’ve remembered to throw my blog a party. And all y’all would’ve been invited.

It was your birthday last year

This is my fourth birthday in California. That means I’ve spent four birthdays NOT shovelling snow, NOT melting snow to put in the toilet tank so it can flush, NOT thawing frozen water pipes, NOT scraping ice off my car door locks, and NOT paying $500 a month for gas heat that’s not warm enough to maintain a temperature moderate enough to keep a fish alive in his tank.

Well, if it’s that de-nuding girl gang, I’d better go in alone

One of my co-workers asked, “Did you know that Facebook is going to start charging its users?” I asked her how she knew this. She said it was on someone’s Facebook wall.

I told her that “information” posts somewhere on Facebook like… once a week. Unless Facebook sends you a message saying this is what they’re doing, then it’s just a wacky rumor.

She remained unconvinced.

I should tell her that she should stay away from malls because men hide under cars and slash womens’ ankles.

Usually the doctor just jabs my vast white buttocks

I called the doctor that was recommended by my insurance company. Her office said she retired last April. Nice.

But they had other people who also take my insurance and new patients. Then she asked me for a credit card because they have a $60 cancellation fee they charge if you don’t show up. OK. But then she said they also keep your credit card on file because they don’t send out statements. They just charge your card for anything your insurance doesn’t pay. I told her I didn’t feel comfortable with that arrangement, as I could imagine doctor fees running higher than my limit. She said they could call in advance with the total they’d charge if it was over $25.

I made the appointment, but it still seemed a bit over the top. I checked with one of my co-workers to see if this was some kind of standard medical office thing I just hadn’t encountered. She said no and that I should cancel the appointment right now. I wanted to tell the lady never mind while I had her on the phone, but she already had my info, and I didn’t think it would make any difference. But if their office is that hardcore, I don’t think I want to go there.

Oh crap, I wiped out my identity again…

You know how the Federal Trade Commission is big on letting you know what identity theft is and how to deal with it when it happens? And how they tell you that anyone who uses your name to open an account or changes your address with the post office is an identity thief? And how they tell you an identity thief can be related to you? And how they tell you no matter who the identity thief may be, you should report all this to the FTC and your local law enforcement official?

What they don’t tell you is that if the identity thief IS related to you, your local law enforcement official will be overly reluctant to write up a report as to what happened. They don’t tell you that your local law enforcement official will suggest that you “work it out” with your shitbag relation.

All the time they’re telling you to work it out, your shitbag relation is running up new charges in your name and the retailer only has your phone number to call when you don’t pay the bill.