Usually the doctor just jabs my vast white buttocks

I called the doctor that was recommended by my insurance company. Her office said she retired last April. Nice.

But they had other people who also take my insurance and new patients. Then she asked me for a credit card because they have a $60 cancellation fee they charge if you don’t show up. OK. But then she said they also keep your credit card on file because they don’t send out statements. They just charge your card for anything your insurance doesn’t pay. I told her I didn’t feel comfortable with that arrangement, as I could imagine doctor fees running higher than my limit. She said they could call in advance with the total they’d charge if it was over $25.

I made the appointment, but it still seemed a bit over the top. I checked with one of my co-workers to see if this was some kind of standard medical office thing I just hadn’t encountered. She said no and that I should cancel the appointment right now. I wanted to tell the lady never mind while I had her on the phone, but she already had my info, and I didn’t think it would make any difference. But if their office is that hardcore, I don’t think I want to go there.

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