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At the Candy Baron store in Santa Monica, you can buy a single, individually-wrapped circus peanut.

I’m going to get one the next time I’m there, just so I can take a picture of it to post.

Insanity.

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I apologize for slacking on the posting of my mother’s weekly summer church picnic reviews. To make up for my blog neglect, here are three (count ’em!) reviews for your reading pleasure!

St. Denis

I called to see if they were having a mass before the picnic, like all the other churches have and the lady said “no”. She said they use the church mostly for storage. They don’t use their church for church. A lot of the Catholic churches are closing or consolidating. They don’t have enough priests to go around.

I won another red velvet cake.

St. Agnes

This place has a lot of tombstone markers right there along the side of their church. They bury their priests there. I think they are Dominicans. We’ve never been to this church’s picnic. Your brother and them aren’t going. He said it is too big – whatever he means by that.

First, we went to their 4:00 mass. That church is so beautiful inside. It has all these beautiful and colorful statues and scenes painted in the ceiling. It is gorgeous. So we left after Communion and went to where they were serving. At that time, there was no line to stand in, and we walked right in. But while we were eating, the line got bigger & bigger.

It cost $7 for adults and $6.50 for senior citizens; not a bad price. You got a half chicken, green beans, mashed potatoes with chicken gravy over them, summer salad, a nice yeast roll, a cup of ice-cream and lemonade or tea. No seconds! It all tasted good.

After we ate I went off to the capital prize booth and took a chance. It cost $3.00 but they raffled off a car or $20,000. Well, they haven’t called me, so I guess I threw $3 away.

Then I went to the cake booth and spent probably $3 and I did win a cake this time. #23 seems to be my lucky number (my birthday date). They had lots of nice cakes in there. I could have gotten another red velvet cake (that’s what my last 2 cakes were that I won) but I said no to one this week. I got a German Chocolate one instead.

Our Lady of Consolation

We just came back from OLC’s picnic. You got 1/4th chicken, noodles, green beans, stewed apples, a roll, & tea. On the table was summer salad and cole slaw. You could have seconds of noodles & green beans. I got the regular dinner. We were all hungry because we were waiting for your brother and them to come so we could all eat together.

It was pretty good. Maybe even close to Holy Family’s.

I tried to win a cake on $2 but had no luck.

Anyway I’m almost burned out on cake.

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In which a scene is almost caused at the liquor store when three very large men arrive and Brian misunderstands a question after placing a quart of milk on the counter:

Very Large Man: Good evening, ladies.

Brian: {blinks}

Very Large Man: Er… lady. I’m so sorry about that.

Brian: No, that’s OK.

Very Large Man: Are you a sixties man?

Brian: {thinks – “Did he just ask if I was a sissy man?”}

Very Large Man: I was born in 1958, myself.

Me: Ha! He thinks you’re in your mid-forties!

Clerk: That’ll be $43.

Brian: …

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Auto air conditioner refrigerant kit: $22

Finding an unused $20 Target gift card under the bed: Free

Getting the air conditioning working again in your car for a total of two dollars: Priceless

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There was just an incident in the office that involved an inflated plastic bag and a pair of men’s underwear.

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Male co-worker: Why is there a fan on in your office?

Me: Because it’s 82 degrees in there.

Male co-worker: Are you menopausal?

Me: …

Male co-worker: Is that why you need the fan?

Me: {stabs him in the eye}

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The year may only be half over, but today’s technology-related conversation surely counts as the Most Bizarre:

Her: Do you have any diskettes?

Him: What size?

Me: …

Diskettes? DISKETTES? First of all, right there… but then to ask for further clarification in the year 2006? Man.

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I had to call the Xerox service man this morning. The copier’s touchscreen keeps touching itself, changing it’s own settings to “enlarge” and then beeping incessantly about it.